LALALALALALALA

It’s nights like these that are the scariest. When everything you feel and can think about just pours down on you all at the same time. You’d feel sad and happy, lonely and contented, loved and unloved. It’s confusing, yes. But this particular night i’m really thankful for..

My literature professor once said, and i quote, “whatever that is replicated out from your imagination is less brilliant than what it seemed in your head”. And, to do this entry justice, i just had to say it to those who will be reading this as well. My true feelings cannot simply be put into words. No matter how profound i can be of the things i feel, it will never compare to the intensity of what’s happening inside of me.

Okay, so it starts like this..

The guy who is responsible for the unending happiness that i’m experiencing for quite a while now (a year and a half to be exact) has thanked me for the oddest reason. He thanked me for everything i have given him. ‘Why is that odd?’, you may ask. Well, you see.. I only gave him that out of sheer thankfulness to him. Because he has given me more than what any other guy has ever given me before. His love, his time, and most of all, his efforts. I know, it’s the oldest trick in the book for guys to do that in order for all the girls to fall in love with them. But something inseid me has told me that he was different. His eyes show me exactly that. He was GENUINE. One of a kind. Unique.

Lately, for his birthday, i bought him the jacket he’s been eyeing for a long time, two of the many books he wants, and his Blackberry (we split it). Because of all those gifts, he’s been hounding me all the time with thank you’s in all of his messages and calls. Don’t get me wrong, i love it. Since it’s his first time to even do these kinds of stuff, but.. I feel that what he’s doing is all wrong.

He has given me the world in a silver platter. He gives me love. So much love that i know my friends stare in jealousy whenever he hugs me or cooes me, and kisses me. He gives me joy he makes me laugh at the silliest, most annoying, and most ”mababaw’ things like no other guy has given me the priviledge of doing. And He gives me everything i want. From the shoes that can’t even be bought here in the Philippines (so he has them shipped) to the clothes that i need (actually just really want), i name one, he gives them to me with no qualms whatsoever. He even treats me to all the food i want (hence, my fat self right now .__. yes, i blame him). See how i can say that he’s the best boyfriend in the world?

So i find it invalid for him to even thank me for all that i have given him, because in my opinion, it is just my way of thanking him, in the little-est ways i can for all the thing that HE has give ME. So if i could, i would give him the whole world. Well, atleast, MY whole world, because i know for a fact that he already has. Even without me having to say or demand anything. He has given me his world and made it into me instead. :”>

I love you, Gerben F. Villanueva. Thank you. Truly, words aren’t enough.